“I can’t resist telling you about a phone call I received this week from former Michigan governor James Blanchard, whom I know from his time as U.S. ambassador to Canada. He was in the Toronto area and wondered if I was free for coffee. More intriguing, he asked if I could provide him with a copy of the Jan. 26 Globe and Mail.
“Why? He told me he had been stumping through Michigan the previous week with John Kerry and had informed the Democratic front-runner that The Globe and Mail had run a front-page photo of him on Jan. 26 playing hockey in New Hampshire at a Boston Bruins old-timers game.
“We were only too happy to oblige with a framed version of the front page. The editorial board won’t pronounce upon the presidential alternatives until the fall. But should Senator Kerry prevail, we’re hoping our front page hangs in the Oval Office.”
Greenspon’s column raises the question of what might have been, had hacks throughout history sought to affect the same breathless tone when writing about the major figures of their day. To wit:
From the editor of the Roman Agora, February XIV, XXXVII:
“I can’t resist telling you about the scroll I received this week from former Gaul governor Marcus Romulus, whom I know from our days together in the legion. He was in the Rome area and wondered if I was free for a bath. More intriguing, he asked if I would provide him with a copy of the January XXVI Agora.
“‘Cur?’ I asked. He told me he’d been on a chariot tour the previous week with Caligula, and had informed the all-powerful Caesar and demi-god that the Agora had run a full-page etching of him slaughtering Christians during an old-timers’ gladiator game.
“You don’t have to be from Rome to know it’s one thing to be on the front tablet of newsstones around the Empire for reasons of immortality, but quite another to be there for your slaughtering prowess. Caligula got all excited and wanted a copy for himself.
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