OK, let’s say I agree – for the purposes of argument – that my looks have degraded. But are you suggesting that my fading appearance should stand in the way of my enjoying an active sexual life?

No, indeed! And this is particularly true for those who exist within long-term, loving and committed relationships. Couples like these often sustain their sexual lives well into middle and old age, often becoming even more devoted as their options for sexual partners outside the marriage grow scarcer.

I’ve recently been prescribed Viagra. While I’m anxious to resume marital intimacy, I worry that my partner is hesitant. (I am a successful advertising executive.)

Much lighthearted fun has been poked over the years at that stock character, the new bride, alarmed on her wedding night by the ardour of her fledgling groom. How much greater her astonishment when, decades later, his potency restored after a long dormancy, that same husband comes shuffling at her across the bedroom, fumbling with his pyjama bottoms! (A useful reference work: “Oh Hell. Not This Again!”: Restoring Intimacy in The Long-Term Partnership, Government of Ontario, 2001.)

Mismatched sexual appetites are, of course, a problem in any long-standing relationship. Many couples seek a solution in open and frank discussion of their sexual incompatibility, in the hope that an unrestricted airing of their needs and feelings will resolve the issues. Such a strategy has proven to be every bit as effective in the later years as it is in the first stages of a relationship.

One more thing: what if my partner falls asleep during the act of love?

Once again, communication is essential! Speak to your partner about the possibility that one or both of you might fall asleep during sexual activity. In later years, furthermore, it’s important to discern, should your partner appear to fall asleep, whether he or she is actually sleeping. What looks like “falling asleep” can sometimes be something much more serious.