My Living Media Will

10. In the event that a former colleague, designated as R.W., who undermined my credibility on the job and then successfully campaigned for my position, resulting in my dismissal, should show up, I have requested my caretakers greet him at the door of my room and say “Are you R.W.? We are legally empowered to tell you to fuck off.”

11. For intravenous hydration, I prefer flat water to sparkling, with a slice of lemon in my IV bag. A scented Jo Malone candle on the night table would be lovely too.