Spuddenfreude

Europlant, which is Germany’s largest potato-breeding company, owns more than seventy potato licences. With names like Omega and Olga, Romula and Rosella, Filea and Fribona, they’re listed on the company website according to their end purposes: french fry, starch, flakes, crisps. No Ellenberg-style odes, no excursus into their histories, no debates on the merits of baking versus boiling. “Linda has a nice name and she enjoys popularity in the north”, Renatus concedes, “but why should Volkswagen keep making the Beetle when they’ve got the Golf” The Golf, in this case, is Belana, and Renatus lights up at the mention of her name. “She’s yellow and firm, has excellent resistance and an intense taste. And she’s already selling better than Linda ever did. We’re exporting her, even to Canada.” Asked if Linda ever got that far, Renatus laughs. “Linda was such a little sort, she was never abroad.”

For now, Linda will have to fight the noble fight on her own. “She’ll survive in some form,” Ellenberg says. He’s been putting Linda through various “shock therapies,” as he calls them, trying to boost her resistance. And he’s been brushing up on European Union agricultural law, particularly a law stating that if a plant is listed in one EU member country, it can be listed and sold in other member countries. “Linda doesn’t just grow in German soil,” Ellenberg says. He’s already in discussion with three other countries.