Shock Jock (Part II)

PM: The booth?
ED: Exactly. Yes. But you don’t have to put any on.
PM: Okey dokey.
LEW: (over the headphones) Can you hear me?
ED: Uh, yes.
PM: Sorry?
ED: No, I was just saying yes to my boss in the, uh...
PM: Oh, the booth.
ED: Yes.
LEW: Remember, forget about the Speckle Lake thing. Don’t bring it up.
ED: Lew, jeez, you know...
LEW: No, Ed. Shut up. You’re up.
ED: Uh huh. Oh.
SOUND: The opening guitar chords from Republica’s “Ready to Go” play. An announcer cuts in over the music.
ANNOUNCER: He is the man. He speaks the truth. He comes in peace. He says what you would say if you had the brains and the guts and were sitting in his chair. He shoots from the lip. It’s time for the Ed Callahan Hour. (canned applause) Ed’s very special guest is the Right Honourable Peter Patterson, the Prime Minister of Canada. You can talk to the Prime Minister by calling 416 555 TALK or 416 555 BULL. On a cellphone, the number is star-CMRB. Long distance it’s 1 800 595 5544. So give Ed a call and make sure he asks the Prime Minister the questions you want answered. And now, here he is, the angry conscience of the nation, Eeeed Caaaaalllaahan!!
SOUND: Republica music fades in again, then out.
ED: Good morning Canada and welcome to a very special edition of the Ed Callahan Hour. Today my guest is none other than the Prime Minister of this fair country, the Right Honourable Peter Patterson. What do you suppose the “Right” means?
PM: Sorry?
ED: The “Right” in “Right Honourable”. I mean, you’re with the Liberal party.
PM: Well, I dunno Ed. I guess it means I’m always right. Ha ha ha.
ED: What you say goes. Your way or the highway.
PM: Right.
ED: “Right.”
ED and the PM: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
ED: You’re Mr. Right!
PM: You bet! That’s me!
ED: Speckle Lake.
PM: Sorry?
LEW (over headphones): Ed...
ED: Is it a long drive? When I was a kid, we had a cottage on a lake, Graham Lake it was called and it would take hours to get there.
PM: I... uh. Ha ha.
LEW: Ed. Jesus. Ed.
ED: So? Is it? Long drive?
PM: Okay. Let me just say...
ED: Yeah?
PM: I’ve never been there.
ED: To Speckle Lake.
PM: Yes. If that’s what it’s called.
LEW: Get off it, Ed.
ED: Oh. Okay. There you have it. So, you’re in town today for something special?