Big Ticket

ACT ONE and ACT TWO

by Jim Garrard

From the July/August 2007 issue of The Walrus


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Annie: You ever bring any women in here, after hours? Women that don’t really want to be here? You know, like with you and the cops? After hours? Any cozy stuff like that?

Dave: You ask a lot of questions. What are you—a detective?

Annie laughs. So does Dave.

Annie: Although there’s not a lot of room in here. For stuff.

The atmosphere thickens a little.


Annie: Of course, it doesn’t have to take a lot of room.

Dave: Is that an invitation?

Annie: Depends on how I’m feeling.

Dave: How are you feeling?

Annie: I’m feeling like I’m here with an outlaw, Dave, a real tough customer. He’s got me at his mercy. He could do anything to me.

Dave: I’m probably not as tough as I look.

Annie: I bet. C’mon in, why don’t you?

He hesitates.

Annie (as if to a dog): C’mon. C’mon. Be a good boy.

He unlocks the gate and goes in. It’s awkward for him. There’s not much room inside.

Annie: Let me help you out of those dirty, dirty clothes.

Dave: You don’t waste any time, do you?

She removes his leather jacket, unbuttons his shirt, pulls off his boots, takes off his pants. This takes a while.

She steps outside the cage and piles his clothing on a chair. She pushes the door of the cage shut and locks it, removes Dave’s keys, leaving him locked inside in his underwear. She opens a plastic bottle of water.


Annie: How you feeling now? Kinda creepy don’t you think?

Dave: I don’t really go for this kind of shit.

Annie: How you feeling though? Kinda sexy?

Dave: I’ll feel a whole lot sexier when you unlock that door and get your pretty little ass back in here.

Annie: You’re so pathetic.

Dave: I’m what?

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