Torsten Lauschmann’s modest ambition is to get six hundred million people in the western hemisphere to jump simultaneously at exactly 11:39:13 gmt on July 20, 2006. His aim: to drive the planet into a new orbit. Scientific research attributed to one Professor Hans Niesward (an alter ego created by Lauschmann, who is in fact a German performance artist based in Glasgow), including a seismographic recording of spectators’ simultaneous movements at the 2002 World Cup soccer final in Japan, suggests that all these little leaps of faith will “stop global warming, extend daytime hours, and create a more homogeneous climate.” Several million altruists have allegedly signed on and will receive a reminder email the day before the end of life as we know it. Buckle up.
