Starbucks Under My Thumb
February 29th, 2008 by Chantelle Oliver | 2 Comments »
NORTH MYRTLE BEACH, SC—I’m from the rural North. I accept that when I am in Owen Sound, Ontario, all I will be able to find is fifteen Tim Horton’s. But, like you, I know that when you are in a city you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a bunch of Starbucks. I know they’ve hit on hard times and are shutting down 100 stores. But even Buffalo has ‘em. Drive thru Starbucks. Pure satisfaction.
Well I’ve been swinging cats all day and night and hitting nothing down here in Myrtle Beach except backyard-sized beach towels with leather Elvis on them. I’ve taken for granted that when I want a coffee it will be there. I’ve never been so wrong:
There are only seventy-two Starbucks in all of South Carolina.
And only nine in Myrtle beach!
So, the usual strategy of standing on the steps of one and peering down the street for the other is not applicable.
Sorry sweetheart, (what all the tertiary workers call me down here ruining me forever for crotchety Toronto) but we sure have a whole mess of grits and scrapple.
I have to search for coffee.
The slickest way by far is to text the zip code you are standing in to “MYSBUX” (697289). Presto! Three closest three Starbucks (address and phone) appear on your mobile device.
If you are web-enabled and like the cozy comfort of a warm map Starbucks Store locator can hook you up to your fix.
What if there are no Starbucks and some ghastly anti-venti will have to do? That’s when you pull out the big guns (just don’t carry them concealed into IHOP here—that’s not allowed) and text “coffee” to GOOGLE (466453). In fact you can find any store, any price, the weather, translate a word…You can just generally be vapid and useless so long as you have texting ability. Google will be your brain and flash of lingual dexterity.
For those blessed with an iphone or cursed with a Blackberry, Plusmo has been around a while successfully providing similar information with more graphically familiar interfaces.
My Crystal Ball and The Future of Data Search: Earthmine
These guys are the ultimate librarians because they are indexing reality. Big deal, right? Well their immanent project excites me. We’ve all seen terrible video panoramas online, and the other Web 2.0 video attemps.
But Earthmine isn’t about Internet stores or the wonder of online video. Each pixel of each image will be associated with data. Earthmine wants to create layers of geo-tagged data for you to rabidly mine. Using their indexed reality will be much better than shopping in a store because you don’t have to be there. It doesn’t have to be there. Nothing will be there except consume consume consume. A brave new marketing world.
Shameful disclosure: I only drink decaf.
The thinking at Starbucks about 4-5 years ago was that the Pacific Northwest (Starbucks’ stronghold) was saturated, and that they were going to move into new markets. So, then they decided to open stores across the world, in such illustrious coffee places such as “Texas”. Lo, Texans drink oil, not coffee, so these stores started tanking. The last couple of years (with Schultz now at the helm) have meant a “return to the roots”, realizing that the Pacific Northwest isn’t yet saturated! In my hometown of Victoria BC there are half a dozen Starbucks slated to open (or have recently opened) in the next few years. Of course, as we all know, that isn’t enough. Stores have been closing, they are getting rid of the stupid breakfast items (because they mask the all important “coffee aroma”) and Schultz decries the new auto-machines as reducing the coffee experience to a McDonald’s-like experience (although I don’t know if they will get rid of them, at $50K each). Last week’s global Starbucks shutdown was an even more aggressive attempt to rally the troops and get Starbucks back to its core—selling “premium” coffee and being the “third place” (after “home” and “work”). Of course, this means your beloved drive-through isn’t going to get to keep its coveted place, unless you are in Texas.
For your return to Toronto, my evolving and expanding Google map of quality coffee places (i.e., no Timmy, no Williams, no Second Cup, and no Starbucks), including my reviews, can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/2y684z
[...] BEACH, SOUTH CAROLINA—After ranting about wants and lacks during my sojourn here I need to clarify: Southern culture is choc-a-block [...]