SURFSIDE BEACH, SOUTH CAROLINA—After ranting about wants and lacks during my sojourn here I need to clarify: Southern culture is choc-a-block with intrigue and fun.

When social scientists carve up Canada and the United States into distinguishable groups they’re split into three: The South, the French, and everybody else (that’s me).

The South suffers from the highest rates of poverty and gets culturally saddled with the entire legacy of slavery—when it belongs to all the white folks everywhere on this continent. No punchbacks!

In among the profusions of Fudruckery-type chains, gated Stepford condo communities and monstrous whale-mouth entranced souvenir shops are a gregarious and complex people struggling to find their way amid the tourists, their history and the tedium of the service industry.

So grab your goobers and your guns and let’s celebrate with southern webgrit:

Quintessential to a Southern experience is that whatever you are doing it ought to be couched in warm courtesy and easy conversation. Look no farther than Southern-born Hooters’ customer service guide as a starting point for southern charm:

My favourite tips:
Entertain, Entertain, Entertain! (visit each other’s tables)
Secret service - anticipate the Guest’s needs

At times it seems like Southerners have little speeding cars running through their veins and not blood. They do and it’s called Nascar. Infield Parking will take you into the social network of Nascar fans. Once geared up head over to Autospies, a digg-like site, where you can join up and vote on top automotive related stories.

Does your passion for whitetail never end? Do you wonder if wiener dogs can hunt? Then head over to the hunting community that tops all others at, aptly named, Hunting.

Join PETA (People for Eating Tasty Animals) and then hit up Gunbroker, the eBay of gun stores, to get ready for the Spring hunt.

Or you can wimp out like me and feel brave for just posing in a photo with a gun that is entirely filled with lead and wired to a stand.

There’s, as they say, your sign.

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Posted on Monday, March 3rd, 2008 at 10:32 am. Follow comments through the RSS 2.0 feed. Comment or trackback.