
CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA—Charleston has a past filled with indigo, rice and slavery. But all that material history evaporates like a mist in the shadow of the pirate mythology that Charleston profits from today.
They even have pirate animatronics! Sadly, no animatronic slave auctioneers.
The pirate star here is Blackbeard. His power is partly historical documents but mostly myth which has had a resurgence of late, thanks to Captain Jack Sparrow (who also happens to be, according to her, Mary-Kate Olsen’s main fashion inspiration). Most pirates were, in reality, venereally diseased festering toothless and drunken rejects from the colonies. But the mythology of pirates is an orchestra of nostalgic romance that has made Johnny Depp and Disney millions upon millions of gold pieces.
Yesterday Mahalo Search CEO Jason Calacanis made the bold and rancorous prediction that Google will have 90 percent market share in the United States one year from now. Many already have and will debate his forecast. Google does in fact dominate the search market today. What frustrates Jason and many others is that Google’s explicit service—the search—is seemingly easily to replicate. Hundreds have and are trying to get a toehold in the search market by offering more and better searches and services. So why is Google which is, by definition, only a good search engine, so powerful?
Like the pirates, Google’s power is its mythology. It isn’t about syphilis or searches. Search is now gone from all languages and replaced with Google. Last night on the beach it was so dark I lost sight my dog Jesus for a moment. A passerby asked me if I was all right. I answered, “Yes, I’m just googling my dog.”
In 1718, Blackbeard held the city of Charleston hostage for five days hijacking ships and taking hostages of prominent citizenry. He wanted some medicine for his itchy genitals. They gave him that and some treasure chests and he escaped to get reinfected, and drunk on fine wines.
I like pirates. I like Google. But I also like a good fight. A battle with Google is not about making a better service. It is about going to war with a legend that has no disease and has all our booty.
Take heart, Jason: Later that same year Blackbeard was easily lured into a trap and had his head brutally cut off. His executioner hoisted the pirate’s head at the front of his ship and left it there for the remainder of his voyage to rot and feed the gulls.
Choose the right attack plan and who knows what will happen with Google.
Legong: I know I am replying to this pathetic, racist statement a little late and the whole ignorant rant probably doesn’t even deserve a reply. Wanhenglo, if we were all to generalise about...
Legong: I know I am replying to this pathetic, racist statement a little late and the whole ignorant rant probably doesn’t even deserve a reply. Wanhenglo, if we were all to generalise about...
Sky Goodden: This is startling, refreshing, overdue, and damn good. Thank you, Shary.
Mark: It’s not just in Canada, it seems all over artists don’t get the local recogtnition they should. I was in Malaga where Picasso was born and it is much different, but then he is...
Seenloitering: The “gender analysis” in this article is upside down. Marie Calloway is a threat to the status quo because she threatens the myth that women are morally superior, above...
Jefry: I do not really like to read a story like a novel or a real story but I think this is very interesting and need to be read
Guest: I didn’t want babies or a period any more. I KNEW without a doubt I did not want children so I had been asking for a hysterectomy since I was 19. I finally got it at 39. My...
Djzklj: Pretty interesting article, despite that I don’t wanna make a voyage there
Sanyo Seiki: I love this game! Very addicted! Sanyo Seiki
Anonymous: People are so disconnected from reality these days, it seems like the only thing that matters to them is materialism and celebrity gossip, disgusting! http://poemti.me