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Am I a just a myopic textard? A horsegeek of the updated apocalypse?

From Lifehacker comments:

Everyone join in and repeat after me…

Social Networking Will Destroy the World.

Yes, you heard me correctly. Social Networking is the glue that binds retarded anti-socialites together; without it, they would need to ACTUALLY interact with real humans or just accept being shut-in couch potatoes (what we used to refer to these people as before they could all join together virtually in one giant blob of mental mush.

Twitter is for those people with too much time on their hands and too few REAL friends to spend it with.

Come on everyone, detach your fingers from the sticky keyboard (or keypad, you textards) and go outside and just breathe… just breathe fresh air and then go knock on your neighbors door (you know the strange people that live next door) and say hello.

My keypad isn’t sticky! It’s protected by a kbcover. I get plenty of fresh air at wifi cafes with patios. And, when I last spoke to my octogenarian neighbour all she said was “WHAT? SAY AGAIN!” and “WHY DON’T YOU HAVE THE BABIES YET?” so I retreated.

But, after smashing my grocery cart head-on into scuppie couple searching through the organic coffee at Dominion for the Decaf Cliff Hanger Espresso because I was mid-tweet (and then naturally twittering the entire event during the aftermath) I have to wonder:

Am I a just a myopic textard? Am I a horsegeek of the updated apocalypse (physical atrophy, social apathy, emotional starvation and digital immortality)? I don’t have a horse—but I do have a thin, small and pale-coloured dog!

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