The composition of my soul has been cleaved in two: one half social-net savant; the other A-list celebrity god-talker seeking divine counsel through a pop-cult telekinesis.The composition of my soul has been cleaved in two: One half social-net savant; the other A-list celebrity god-talker seeking divine counsel through a pop-cult telekinesis.

But everything that rises must converge.

A Hollywood A-lister has just joined Twitter: Diablo Cody (Academy Award winning screenwriter of Juno with the captivating stripper byline). This time the celebrity is real, not just a pretender scraping the Net and depositing an RSS feed into a Twitter account. And she’s great at it. Sharing just enough of her insider life to keep you panting for more:

I thought I was going to stay in last night, but I wound up on the patio of the Chateau at 2:00 a.m

And then Sharon Stone follows suit. Here comes Hollywood!

Look out, micro-celebrities Scobolizer and Leo Laporte. It’s like what happens to Ben Mulroney and Don McKellar (sorry gentle American reader, I know these names mean nothing to you) when the Hollywood cast of the Toronto International Film Festival sojourns in Toronto: Canadian niche celebrities get a train ticket to nobodysville.

The implications are enormous.

It could put the paparazzi out of business. Celebrities would beat Perez Hilton and TMZ to the punch. They could even link to photos of their babies for sale and cut out all the middle-men.

Uma Thurman’s stalker Jack Jordan could follow her life and feel intimately close to her through Twitter so he wouldn’t have to find her on set and give her ghoulish home-made cards.

And, in the very near future, when it comes time to crank out an “autobigraphy” for Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana about her years in the Disney salt mines, ghostwriters could just assemble her tweets instead of interrupting her from a busy day at a Playboy photo shoot (with binge drinking for dessert). She could even consult the twittersphere on her career so she would no longer make a false move like trusting Annie Leibowitz.

Unlike her parents, we’d never lead her to slaughter, now would we?

Tags: Twitter

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Posted on Monday, May 5th, 2008 at 2:37 pm. Follow comments through the RSS 2.0 feed. Comment or trackback.