PARIS—Vi ses, Sweden, and khairete, Greece.

While we’re at it: zbohem, Czech Republic; uf widerlüge, Switzerland; pfueatti, Austria; do widzenia, Poland; la revedere, Romania; and au revoir France.

Oh, and a very belated cheerio to England. Can’t forget them!

With Russia’s impressive 2-0 victory over Sweden last night, the final eight (or The Group of Seven and Russia) of Euro ’08 is set. Guus Hiddink’s boys (and is there a better international coach in all the world than The Goose? Over the last ten years, he’s taken overachievers the Netherlands, South Korea, Australia and now Russia to the knockout stage of a major international), clad in an eye-popping red, dominated the Swedes in a game that could easily have finished 5-0. Andrei Arshevin, the Zenit St. Petersburg striker who sat out the first two Euro contests with a suspension, scored the insurance goal early in the second half after point man Roman Pavlyunchenko had opened the scoring in the first.

Pavs, as I’ve taken to calling him, is for me (along with Turk Arda Turan) the surprise breakout of the tournament to this point—a big, blonde beast up front for the Ruskies, always smiling, blessed with an excellent first touch and a finisher’s mentality. With two goals in three matches (he rang a rocket off the crossbar against Sweden for what could have been a third), the Spartak Moscow talent has popped onto the radar of the biggest clubs in Europe: Barca, Celtic and Real Madrid are rumoured to be courting him.

Still, he’s Hiddink’s property for at least one more game, and potentially three. After the passing talent and attacking verve that the Russians have shown in their last two matches, the Dutch can’t look past their Saturday night quarterfinal matchup. The defense may still look a little shell-shocked at times, but don’t sleep on the Russians in the final eight.

As mentioned yesterday, with the elimination of France I’m a free agent for the remainder of the tournament. And since I’ve proven to have very little talent for predictions, I’ll go another route, outlining my ideal scenario for the final eight. This is what would happen, if I were king of the universe:

Quarterfinal 1: Portugal 2-1 Germany

What was all that about a new, attacking, inventive Germany? Pretty dull stuff so far. Ronaldo scores two, including a second-half winner from a free kick.

Quarterfinal 2: Croatia 3-1 Turkey

The Turks have won some hearts and minds in their last two come-from-behind victories, but when you give up the first goal in every game, it eventually catches up to you.

Quarterfinal 3: Netherlands 3-2 Russia (after extra time)

As much affection as I have for this Russian team, the Netherlands belong in the semifinals. When we’re talking about what I want in a knockout round, future match-ups usually trump early upsets. Arjen Robben (or as Mlle. Trotter calls him, “my secret boyfriend”) scores the winner in extra time.

Quarterfinal 4: Spain 8-0 Italy

Run it up, Spain. Run it up.

Semifinal 1: Croatia 2-0 Portugal

I’ve already decided that my winner is coming out of the bottom half of the draw, so it wouldn’t bother me if Portugal made the final, because I enjoy cheering against Cristiano Ronaldo. But Croatia are a hip side, with a cool coach, and their uniforms really float my boat. Ronaldo has to leave this game early after pulling a back muscle on an especially extravagant dive, and Little Luka Modric controls the ball in the midfield for fully half the match. Go, Fightin’ Tablecloths!

Semifinal 2: Netherlands 4-2 Spain

No penalties in my ideal knockout round, as you’ll notice, but plenty of goals. Yes, I know the 1-0 matches are inevitable in elimination games, but this is my fantasy, dammit!

Yes, the Dutch are now my adopted favourites, and after playing the most attractive football of the group stage, how could I root against them? Spain is a pretty likeable side, too, the best group of Spaniards I can remember in an international tournament. Plus, according to reader Lizou, midfielder Andrés Iniesta is my footballing doppelganger. But I’m going with the Dutch. Viva Oranje!

Final: Netherlands 2-1 Croatia

Croatia leads 1-0 at the half on a thirty-yard strike from Modric. Van der Sar keeps the Oranje in the game with a saved penalty early in the second half, and the Dutch equalize at seventy minutes from a van Nistelrooy header off a Dirk Kuyt cross, setting the stage for Arjen Robben to replicate Dennis Bergkamp’s famous eighty-ninth-minute winner versus Argentina in the 1998 WC, with Andre Ooijer playing the Ronald de Boer part on the long cross.

Of course, Robben’s a left footer, so it will technically be a mirror-image reversal of the Bergkamp goal. But it will still produce pandemonium in the streets of Amsterdam. And I’ll be there, too, waving whatever scrap of orange I can get my hands on. A guy can dream, right?

Yesterday’s recap

Results: Russia 2-0 Sweden, Spain 2-1 Greece

Top player: The return of Andrei Arshevin from suspension took this offence to another level last night. Wingers, midfielders, even defenders made all the right runs, and everything went through Arshevin, who scored the clincher.

Best goal: Pavlyuchenko finished off a sweet low cross by right winger Konstantin Zyryanov, curling a low ball with his first touch into the bottom left corner past a diving Andreas Isaksson.

In-game beverages: We had a bit of a Russian feast chez Sportstrotter, with vareniki fried with sausage, pickles, and a random assortment of Russian chocolates from the local ethnic deli (the chocolates were differentiated by the animals depicted on the wrappers; lobster and camel were two favourites).

The vodka taste-off between Sweden’s Absolut and a Russian brand called “The Officers” (the best translation we could get from the shopkeeper, as there was niet but Russian text on the bottle) ended in an inconclusive draw. But the big winner was the evening’s mixed drink: equal parts vodka and cassis juice in a low-ball glass, topped up with the South African soda Grapetizer and a squeeze of lime. I call it “The Pavlyuchenko.”

Tonight’s game

Portugal versus Germany in the first knockout match of the tourney. Arguably the most interesting matchup of the second round (in a dead heat with Spain-Italy). So why am I not watching the match? Because I made a promise to Mlle. Trotter to be elsewhere with her tonight, and some things are more important than sports.

[Waiting for lightning bolt to strike me down.]

Don’t feel too bad for me, though: there’s an amazing free dinner (and all the booze I can drink) involved. Also, I’ll have Lizou sending SMS game-updates from Barcelona throughout the evening.

Prediction: Portugal 2-0 Germany

Tags: Euro 2008

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Posted on Thursday, June 19th, 2008 at 12:54 pm. Follow comments through the RSS 2.0 feed. Comment or trackback.