From Jamie Allen at McSweeney’s, a campaign speech on the occasion of the narrator’s 40th birthday:

And from those words, I have sensed what you might be thinking: Should we keep this person as our son … or should we legally disown him?

I want you to know, Mom and Dad: I … Hear … You.

(Applause.)

For that reason, I believe it’s time we talked about change. This campaign is all about change. We all want change for the better. We all want me to change into an independent, responsible adult who lives outside this house. You want it, Dad. You want it, Mom. And I am here to tell you that I want change, too.

As they say: it’s funny because it’s true.