Comments on: All in your head http://www.walrusmagazine.com/blogs/2008/06/25/all-in-your-head/ Fearless. Thoughtful. Witty. Canadian. And Opinionated. Fri, 09 Jan 2009 02:14:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Sarah http://www.walrusmagazine.com/blogs/2008/06/25/all-in-your-head/#comment-5221 Sarah Sun, 29 Jun 2008 01:27:41 +0000 http://www.walrusmagazine.com/blogs/?p=957#comment-5221 I think it's really sad that "being in touch with your emotions" or whatever you want to call it has come to mean, crying, watching "Oprah" and using words like "feelings" and "in a good place". I think being in touch with oneself is just . . . being. They don't "talk about their feelings" in that Oprah way, but the people around them know how they feel. These people know who they are, they're confident, and they're happy. Other people aren't, and they're the ones who try all the cliched things, like self-help books and TV-movies, new-age nonsense, or whatever the guy equivalent is, (fishing trips, mens clubs) and subconsciously expect those things to make them happy, and end up even more unsatisfied when they don't. Personally, I would give a lot to be able to work out my emotions. I'm very, very, bad at that sort of thing. I mean, you know that. You've met me. But I'm pretty sure you can't learn that sort of thing. If you have it you have it. And if you don't - like that character in that book, no amount of externally prescribed treatments will make any difference. And the more we as a culture paint "being in touch with ourself" as some hippy earth-mother crap that women are intrinsically good at, the better off everyone will be. I think it’s really sad that “being in touch with your emotions” or whatever you want to call it has come to mean, crying, watching “Oprah” and using words like “feelings” and “in a good place”. I think being in touch with oneself is just . . . being. They don’t “talk about their feelings” in that Oprah way, but the people around them know how they feel. These people know who they are, they’re confident, and they’re happy. Other people aren’t, and they’re the ones who try all the cliched things, like self-help books and TV-movies, new-age nonsense, or whatever the guy equivalent is, (fishing trips, mens clubs) and subconsciously expect those things to make them happy, and end up even more unsatisfied when they don’t.

Personally, I would give a lot to be able to work out my emotions. I’m very, very, bad at that sort of thing. I mean, you know that. You’ve met me. But I’m pretty sure you can’t learn that sort of thing. If you have it you have it. And if you don’t - like that character in that book, no amount of externally prescribed treatments will make any difference.

And the more we as a culture paint “being in touch with ourself” as some hippy earth-mother crap that women are intrinsically good at, the better off everyone will be.

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