The Walrus Blog

PARIS—What a finish in Basel last night, a wild ending to one of the most exciting Euro semifinals ever played! Or so we’ve been told.

Didn’t see Miroslav Klose’s go-ahead goal in the 79th minute? Missed Turkey’s last-gasp injury-time charge, and the final whistle? Yeah, you and me both.

Apparently I was wrong to diss the copyright zealots over at UEFA. They so desperately need us to wire them money to watch those oh-so-precious match highlights on my tiny laptop screen, because they’re clearly too broke to disseminate live images directly from Basel. The entire world (save Swiss viewers in Zurich and anyone watching on al-Jazeera – wha?) missed two or three significant chunks of the second half due to what UEFA’s calling electrical storm interruptions in Vienna, some 800km away from the stadium itself. My suspicion is that UEFA conked its signal out purposely, so that we’d all have to go online and pay to see the Klose goal. Nice try, UEFA, but TF1 showed me the replay during the third blackout!

The BBC and ZDF have both launched formal complaints against UEFA. Oh no, not a formal complaint! Personally, I’ve always trumpeted the value of the informal complaint: a dude in jeans and a wife-beater hucks a brick through a window. There’s my complaint, sir.

Here in Paris, during the breaks, we were treated to a documentary about the failure of Les Bleus at this tournament. Grim stuff from the French. A ZDF executive called the debacle, “the most annoying balls-up imaginable.” Funny stuff from the Germans? Go figure.

The greatest shame is that we missed a single second of this contest. The game itself was a classic. This tournament’s ratio of good matches to bad is already way ahead of what any discerning sports fan could expect, and Germany and Turkey took it up a notch in an encounter few held out much hope for before the opening whistle had been blown, what with Turkey’s lineup decimated by injury and suspensions, and Germany’s historical ability to, well, win.

Time to dust off the ol’ Gary Lineker quote: “Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win.”

But for the first 45 minutes, the undermanned Turks wiped the field with the pedigreed winners, ringing the crossbar through Colin Kazim-Kazim (love that name!), and then opening the score on Kazim(squared)’s second crossbar, this time finished on the rebound by Ugur Boral. I told Mlle. Trotter that the Turks needed to hold out for the next five minutes of German pressure, and sure enough, four minutes later, Bond-villain-in-training Bastien Schweinsteiger (apparently, he’s Angela Merkel’s favourite player, though what that says about her only Zombie Freud could discern) knotted the score at 1-1 on Germany’s only good scoring chance of the half.

The defenses buckled down a bit to start the second, but soon enough the end-to-end football was back. I’ll have to take UEFA’s word for it that Miroslav Klose scored in the 79th minute off a powerful header past an out-of-position keeper to make it 2-1.

Finally, Turkey had Germany right where they wanted them—one goal ahead with ten minutes to play. The comeback kids were true to form seven minutes later, when Sabri Sarioglu undressed Philipp Lahm in the corner and centered for Semih Senturk, who poked the equalizer past a slow Jens Lehmann, the old man looking rather aged on this night.

Having watched Turkey’s last three comebacks turn into victories, you just knew that they had another goal in them. And, true to form, you turned out to be grossly mistaken (way to go, know-it-all) when Lahm, fresh off being beaten on the equalizer, devastated Kazim-Kazim with a cut-back on the left side and, leaving the Turkish winger crumpled on the ground with what looked to be a blown-out knee, finished off a lovely one-two pass from Thomas Hitzlsperger.

We’ll have to take UEFA on their honour that the game ended there, since screens around the world froze in the middle of Lahm’s celebration. After a few more painfully annoying minutes of reliving France’s failure (there’s a great game going on right now, and I’m stuck watching this?!), TF1 cut back to the studio to announce that the game had ended, 3-2 in favour of the Germans. Of course, we didn’t really need to hear the result to know how the game had ended. Turkey had a magnificent run, but their greatest error—with all the pre-match talk of their depleted roster—was fielding an 11-man side to match that of the Germans. Hey, you chase the ball for 90 minutes against the Germans, and you pretty much know what you’re in for.

Semifinal 1 recap

Result: Germany 3-2 Turkey, in the highest-scoring semifinal since Germany beat the Swedes by the same score to advance to the 1992 final.

Top player: Though he was one of two culprits on the second Turkish goal, Philipp Lahm played fantastically at left fullback for the Germans. Pushing up and down the flank all night, he was cheated of a free kick (maybe even a penalty) when he was clearly taken out on the edge of the Turk penalty box early in the second half. His long cross in made it 2-1 off Klose’s header, and he was the brains and the brawn behind the slick winner.

Best goal: Schweinsteiger and Lahm in a dead heat. Lahm’s goal was bigger, but then again, the winning goal wasn’t scored by the man who German Chancellor Angela Merkel praises for his “fresh and open” attacking style. Oooooh, somebody’s totally crushing!

In-game beverages: Domaine de Salvert 2005 (Anjou Villages red). My mother called me the other day. “I’ve been reading your soccer stories,” she said. And then, “you sure do seem to be drinking a lot.” Don’t worry, Mom, this tournament isn’t turning me into an alcoholic. After all, don’t alcoholics attend meetings?

Semifinal 2 preview

If I’d asked you at the beginning of the week to put money on which one of the semifinals was going to be more exciting, offensive, open, competitive, tense, dramatic—what I’m getting at is, you would have said Russia-Spain, right? Never trust your money!

Common sense tells us that a penultimate match between two of this tournament’s most offensively-minded teams—and remember, the Russians have gotten better with each match—should be a burner. And both teams are pretty likeable, too. I’d be happy to cheer wildly for either of them to trounce Germany in Vienna on Sunday. Let’s cross our fingers for a great game, with many beautiful goals, decided in the standard 90 minutes.

I’ll even do my part to jinx the denouement that nobody wants to see …

… [clearing throat] …

Hey, gang, did you know that before this tournament, four of the last eight Euro Cup semifinals had gone to penalty kicks?! Wow, I just graphed it on my TI-85 calculator, and you know what? That means we’re due!

Prediction: Russia 0-0 Spain; Russia advances on penalties 2-0 (the graph of the victory is, predictably, a parabola)

photo: MICHAEL KAPPELER/AFP/Getty Images

Tags
Posted in Sportstrotter

  • elexmage

    Well, After the fact,you missed the outcome but got the score right so some extra credit. Next, Germany 2, Spain 1 in overtime but not PKs. Remember the quote. Spain hasn’t won in like, forever, and won’t now. Great blog.


Canada & its place in the world. Published by
the non-profit charitable Walrus Foundation
TwitterFacebookRSS
On newsstands now
New Issue on Sale
March 2012
Subscribe online for as little as $2.49 an issue. Visit The Walrus Store
to buy prints of our covers
The Walrus Laughs
Search the web, support the Walrus Foundation
COPA
Recent Blog Comments

In Defence of the Confession

best seo forums: Thanks for sharing such an brilliant post. I make sure to visit this post regularly. keep sharing more and more..

Seenloitering: The “gender analysis” in this article is upside down. Marie Calloway is a threat to the status quo because she threatens the myth that women are morally superior, above...

Jefry: I do not really like to read a story like a novel or a real story but I think this is very interesting and need to be read

Big Trouble in Little Africa

Legong: I know I am replying to this pathetic, racist statement a little late and the whole ignorant rant probably doesn’t even deserve a reply. Wanhenglo, if we were all to generalise about...

Legong: I know I am replying to this pathetic, racist statement a little late and the whole ignorant rant probably doesn’t even deserve a reply. Wanhenglo, if we were all to generalise about...

We Are Potential

Sky Goodden: This is startling, refreshing, overdue, and damn good. Thank you, Shary.

Where’s the Love?

Mark: It’s not just in Canada, it seems all over artists don’t get the local recogtnition they should. I was in Malaga where Picasso was born and it is much different, but then he is...

The End of the Family Line

Guest: I didn’t want babies or a period any more.  I KNEW without a doubt I did not want children so I had been asking for a hysterectomy since I was 19.  I finally got it at 39.  My...

Cairo Chameleon

Djzklj: Pretty interesting article, despite that I don’t wanna make a voyage there

Craftwerk

Sanyo Seiki: I love this game! Very addicted! Sanyo Seiki

Archived Blog Posts
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007