I’m Jesuspenis and I’m taking over for Chantelle today because she is sucky and heartbroken still. Grrrr.*

I’m an expert on anthropomorphism and Twitter because I am both a four pound yorkshire terrier and a Twitter identity. So I get used phatically all the time on Twitter by Chantelle.

Some examples of my incredible tweets:

I’m staring at you. 9:18 AM Apr 20th

the rain really screws up my foot-hair 1:12 PM May 2nd

KILL EAT RACOON ASS 4:09 PM May 4th

arrrr 11:14 PM Oct 31st

@devile You’re grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrrrr. Grr. RRRRRRR.. You know what I’m saying. 8:16 PM Nov 8th

My tweets do not demonstrate sharing data but rather rrrrreconnecting and rrrrreaffirming social connections. In other words, doing some heavy social lifting for Chantelle.

This is what Twitter is for. You can’t say you don’t want to use it because your life is too boring and busy for such things. That’s wrongrrrrr. I’ll bite you.

What are you doing on Twitter? You are effortlessly maintaining and growing rewarding and healthy social networks in ways that let you know what your community is doing without even looking at them. Like in the olden days when my breed first started.

*Many thanks to Leon Rooke’s Shakespeares Dog and the inspirational words all those years ago! Without you I would not tweet.