PARIS—I’ve been waiting all year for this. No, I don’t mean the Super Bowl, the 43rd edition of the big game this Sunday being contested by the NFC’s Arizona Cardinals and the AFC’s (and Mlle Trotter’s) Pittsburgh Steelers. The local broadcast on France 2 is at 12:20am Monday morning, Paris time. I’m expecting the commentary to be … intéressant.
Nor do I mean the opportunity to make silly wagers on various and sundry wacky outcomes of said game via the Las Vegas Hilton’s inspired proposition wager list. I mean, I am excited about the wagering possibilities. Don’t get me wrong.
But here’s what I’ve been waiting for ALL YEAR, yearning for, aching for: the chance to recycle Sportstrotter column ideas…
With the recurring recurringness of the yearly sports cycle comes the opportunity for writers to toss out an “easy one” on an annual basis. Just come up with one good idea, like Bill Simmons’ NBA Draft Diary, King Kaufman’s Panel o’ Experts or Peter King’s annual Will-Brett-Favre-Retire-Or-Won’t-He? breathless treatise, recycle it next year, and voila! Sportswriting has never been easier.
For the record, that last bit about Peter King’s Favre coverage being a good idea? That’s a joke I’m going to use again next year, for sure.
So please enjoy the Second Annual Sportstrotter Proposition Bet Column. As you’ll recall (at least if you’re my mother or Google you will), I fared pretty well on my silly bets last year, turning 100 TrotterBucks into 131.46 TBs through brilliant insight and prognostication. That money marks our bankroll in 2009 for bets made on the Las Vegas Hilton’s prop sheet. No way I’m pocketing last year’s winnings – let it ride!
For an explanation of what exactly a prop bet is and why Super Bowl bettors go crazy for them, see last year’s edition of Top of the Props. But please try not to read any of the jokes that I’m going to recycle for this year’s edition. You don’t want to ruin the surprise!
* * *
Bet 1: Will either team score three straight times? Yes –185, No +165
ST’s bet: 10 TrotterBucks on “NO” (to win my original 10 Bucks back, plus a winning take of our bet times 165/100, or 16.5)
Bet 2: Will both teams score a field goal of 33 yards or more? Yes +170, No –190
ST’s bet: 10 TB on “YES” (to win 17)
Bet 3: Total points in the game? Over/Under line 47 points, -110 for both bets
ST’s bet: 33 TB on the “UNDER” (betting on the “–” line means we’re betting the favourite, so we have to lay 110 to win 100, or in this case 33 to win 30)
Bet 4: Will Kurt Warner throw an interception? Yes –220, No +190
I know, this may sound crazy. But Warner’s a way better fumbler than he is a pick-thrower. And you can’t technically throw a pick if the ball’s already bouncing around at your feet. Can you?
ST’s bet: 10 TB on “NO” (to win 19)
Bet 5: Will Heath Miller (Pit) score a touchdown? Yes +200, No –240
ST’s bet: 15 TB on “YES” (to win 30)
Bet 6: Who will have the most receiving yards, Mewelde Moore (Pit) or Tim Hightower (Ari)? Moore –0.5 yards, Hightower +1.5, both –110
ST’s bet: 11 TB on “MOORE” (to win 10)
Bet 7: Who will have more, Pit/Ari combined QB sacks or Alex Ovechkin total shots on goal Sunday (vs. Ottawa)? Sacks +1.5, -110; Ovechkin -1.5, -110
ST’s bet: 11 TB on “SACKS” (to win 10)
Bet 8: Who will have more, Cardinals touchdowns or Liverpool/Chelsea combined goals? Cards –0.5, +140; Liv/Che +0.5, -160
ST’s bet: 8 TB on Liverpool/Chelsea goals (to win 5)
Bets 9-12:
2 TB for Mewelde Moore (Pit) to score the game’s first touchdown, 35/1 (to win 70)
4 TB for Heath Miller (Pit) to score the game’s first touchdown, 10/1 (to win 40)
4 TB for the first scoring play of the game to be a Pittsburgh TD Pass, 4/1 (to win 16)
3 TB for a tie game at the end of the first half, and Steelers to win, 8/1 (to win 24)
Lucky bet 13: Opening coin toss, Heads/Tails –101
Isn’t plagiarizing yourself fun! To wit:
“The mother of all Super Bowl prop bets is betting on the coin toss, which is weird because it’s really the only bet involved with the game that you could make with a friend in the comfort of your own home if the Super Bowl didn’t exist, and you wouldn’t have to pay the bookies a 1 percent commission for the privilege of laying money on what is an even-money wager. You and I could pick a date in March, for example, and flip a coin every year on that date, and if we lived forever eventually our wins and losses would even out, and we would be really old and no richer or poorer for our efforts and intuition. Sounds depressing, right? So let’s bet on the Super Bowl coin flip!”
The NFC, after the Giants called Tails last year (who got that right? This guy!), pushed their coin-toss win streak to 11 years. This year the Steelers, as the away team, calls the toss, so we’ve thus determined that whatever the Steelers call will be wrong.
Americans traditionally bet more money on Heads than on Tails, so let’s say that the Steelers are more likely to call Heads. That means we’re betting on tails, for the second year in a row. Recycling sports bets, like recycling column ideas, is a beautiful thing.
Show me the money! (Oh, wait, wrong team…)
ST’s bet: 10.46 TB on “TAILS” (to win 10.36)
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