The Walrus Blog

Definition of nation: it is an imagined political community…imagined because the members of even the smallest nation will never know most of their fellow-members, even meet them, or even hear of them, yet in the minds of each lives the image of their communion.
-Benedict Anderson*

Right now the only thing I know I share with other Canadians is perpetual anxiety over what it means to be Canadian.

The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commision (CRTC) was concocted to regulate and supervise Canadian broadcasting and telecommunications thereby fomenting a Canadian culture and thus identity.

The CRTC has never been very good at making me feel Canadian. They sure did help sustain myriad mediocre bands and television shows. Where would I be without having heard Kim Mitchell and Blue Rodeo ad nauseam? What would I have done on Sundays without the franchised version Bowling for Dollars and the sinister host on Big Top Talent? I guess I would have been entirely Americanized by the music and television that I actually enjoyed most of the rest of the time.

It’s even worse now because of the internets. The CRTC is completely lost and now actively dangerous. They’ve opened up an online consultation about net neutrality but there is a real and horrifying possibility that they will side with the lobbying Canadian telcos against the interests of actual individual Canadians. On the other hand, evidence on their website of their knowledge of the implications of their decisions either way are non-existent. If you search for Twitter on the CRTC site, it suggests you are perhaps searching for “titre.” Furthermore, its social networking articles are years old and completely out of date.

Hey CRTC sillies! The solution is simple. Twitternation might have American culture pundits seeing a cultural bloodbath but it holds the key to our perpetual Canadian identity crisis:

Cancel the CRTC, take that money and buy Canadian-created twitter-clone identi.ca. Close membership to ISP’s outside of our national borders and force everyone to join like you forced us all to endure Rush and Definition. Inside our walled Twittery garden we will feed and nurture the image of the possibility of our communion in 140 characters or less. Then affordable texting, data rates and flows will become a matter of national identity and we will kill two birds (Twitter pun intended) with one stone.

Voila – severely modern imagined community! Canadianess finally realized, protected and most importantly totally effing cool.

*Imagined communities: reflections on the origin and spread of nationalism‎ by Benedict Anderson – Political Science – 1999 – pg 6

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Posted in Web 2.0 Museum

  • Chantelle Oliver

    I notice you have the exact same name as me and after looking at your work we might have very similar lives too. I saw that koslowski film about the girl who had a twin and she saw her and followed her to watch her life from a distance. E-mail if you get a chance – chantelleoli@hotmail.com

  • http://petercookwriter.com Peter Cook

    A brilliant idea. Can there be a slice of the universe made distinctly Canadian? Of course. The above idea is elegantly simple and simply elegant–and a good start.

    I’m a lifelong Canadaphile (writing from Los Angeles), so what the hell do I know about Canadian identity, right? Nothing. Or, maybe just enough.

    Canadian culture is fascinatingly distinct and frighteningly rare. The Canadian “sensibility” or “identity” is, of course, like beauty or obscenity: you know it when you see it, hear it, get warmed by it, healed by it, chilled or infuriated by it.

    It’s among your greatest treasures (right up there with your uranium, chip wagons, poutine, John Ralston Saul, Leonard Cohen and Corner Gas). And you so often seem to treat it with an ambivalence nearing disdain. Sure, it’s not loud and obnoxious and imperial. Sure it’s not militarized and corporatized. That’s the trouble with dignity and true sovereignt–these elements are perishable. They’re the real thing: human decency in action. Can’t just package ‘em up and sell ‘em off like Coca-Cola.

    Pure Canadian “Twittering” might just help reify that “image of… communion” like the man says…

    Wouldn’t cost much to try.

    But hey, what do I know? I know my Canadian wife would give me THAT look if she ever saw this… I know that!

  • http://animalsneedkisses.wordpress.com Will O’Neill

    To me, the CTRC and the CBC do nothing but stand in the way of inventive, fresh Canadian creativity. In honour of this being The Walrus, here’s what I think of as being innovative Canadian humour without being overtly Canadian:

    http://animalsneedkisses.wordpress.com/2009/01/10/walruses/

    Canada can have a sensibility about itself without being so brutally can-con-ish. Stephen Leacock did it; why can’t we?

  • http://blog.fagstein.com/2009/04/28/crtc-roundup-deciding-the-future-of-tv/ Fagstein » CRTC roundup: Deciding the future of TV

    [...] The Walrus’s Chantalle Oliver suggests the CRTC should be shut down and that the government should impose its cultural will on the populace through identi.ca. [...]


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