PARIS — “So, uh, what have people over there been saying about the Games?”
My dad, who lives on Vancouver Island and spent the first couple days of the Olympics in Vancouver proper, asked me the other day for the French take on the games-to-date. Even over a shitty ADSL connection some nine time zones away, I could tell that he wasn’t just curious. He was a little worried. He needed to be reassured.
This was after the first week of the Olympics, when a few macro things weren’t going as well as people had hoped they would, so to speak. Like the weather. And safety on the luge track. And the torch lighting.
Based on what I was hearing from friends and family, folks in Vancouver were having a ball. Actually, I sort of got the impression that Canadians were almost overdoing their we’re-here-for-the-party! bit, to compensate for what they perceived as a lukewarm early reception of the Games abroad (driven pretty largely, let’s be honest, by the bitter, snarky reports of an inexplicably and indefensibly hateful segment of the British media that nobody should ever take seriously, especially since they started trashing these Olympics two weeks before they even began).
I assured my dad that the French media was taking a largely positive view on the games. It might be because French people are generally rooting for Canada to do well at these Olympics, since many of our athletes give interviews en français to their reporters, or that they won a bunch of medals in the first week (because if the French care about anything, it’s winning medals – they’re a lot like my brother that way).
But just in case my dad, or the rest of Canada, needed any more insight on what the world really thinks about these Olympics, I called on my Sportstrotter network of international gurus, spies and n’er-do-wells, spread across five continents, in countries with varying levels of participation in winter sports, to give their own far-flung perspectives on the games.
(Happy birthday, dad.)
Andrew Braithwaite – Paris, France (Pacific Standard Time + 9 Hours)
Yes, even though the rest of the entries are going east-to-west, I get the primo first-responder priority Platinum placement, part of this column’s controversial “Own the Blog” program (for which my corporate fat-cat sponsor has invested a generous $0.0 million dollars).
If there’s one thing that I’ve taken from the largely excellent (and unabashedly homerist) live television coverage on France 2 and France 3, which runs nightly from 18h local time till 6h the next morning – completely commercial free after 20h30! – it’s that after all the glory paid to Canada’s top musical talents at the Opening Ceremonies, we need to make a bigger deal of the musical phenomenon that is Roch Voisine. I remember listening to this guy in my French elementary school. In Francophone music, he’s huge. Not quite Céline Dion or Gilles Vigneault huge. Still, here’s a guy who was made a Chevalier de l’ordre des Arts et des Lettres de France at age 28!
Why will I remembered these as “the Roch Voisine Games?” Two reasons: one, the theme song for France Televisions’ Olympics coverage is Voisine’s insufferably catchy 1989 song “Pour Une Victoire,” from his hit debut album Hélène (translation of the chorus: “for a victory, you would do anything,” a very French Olympic sentiment). Two, Roch has been the third man in the TV booth for every Team Canada hockey game. And the amazing thing is that he’s not just making a celebrity cameo. He’s a really good colour analyst. Or maybe he just seems smart because I’m usually watching hockey at 3 in the morning.
Seth Leighton – Seoul, Korea (PST+17)
I rode the subway to work on Wednesday. On the subway in Korea, nobody talks. Even among packs of school kids, it is customary for each to be focused on their own phone. Today, things were different. Strangers clustered around each others’ tiny Samsung screens, watching the competitors of Kim Yu-Na, our 19 year old figure skating superduperstar.
Yu-Na represents the extremes of Korean culture, with its contrast of traditional Confucianism and desire for modernity at any cost. From an early age she was motivated/pushed by her mother, who has completely devoted herself to her child’s success – a common trait in Korean families. The use of a foreign teacher is another trait deeply embedded within Korean culture, one that hits directly against the national pride. Yu-Na’s coach? Canadian Brian Orser.
I reached my stop 3 minutes before Yu-Na’s short program skate. Passing an open health clinic, I saw a TV tuned to the event – Che-ga Pol Su Isseo?, I asked (“Can I watch?”). I sat next to two old Korean men, patients waiting for the doctor, who stood at the door, also watching. Each of Yu-Na’s jumps was followed by claps and cheers from my fellow observers, and nary a breath was taken until she finished her performance without a fall.
They announced the score: 78.50, a new world record for short program. Cheers broke out, people hugged and laughed, and then, because they are Korean, everybody went back to work.
Anamitra Deb – Mumbai, India (PST+14)
I’ve been looking forward to these Olympics ever since my friend Kate gifted me a Vancouver 2010 vest and toque, passed along by her mother who was on the organizing committee. However, I fear our chance at winter sports greatness is passing India by.
Despite a three-man delegation tipped by the bookies at very, very long odds, and live sports coverage on ESPN, India stubbornly remains loyal to its unholy news trinity of cricket/Bollywood/sex scandals. Though the Olympics did get off to a scandalous start, when it was revealed that our three-man delegation had a five-man entourage that included an adventurous hotelier from Kashmir, Muddasir Nazir Mir, who has no credentials as a coach – he’s apparently riding a political favour into Whistler Olympic Park, aiding army man Tashi Lundup (whose actual coach was sidelined to accommodate Mr. Nazir Mir) to an 83rd-place finish in the men’s 15km freestyle cross-country.
These will most likely be remembered as Mr. Nazir Mir’s Olympics. And I, equipped with only my hopes and my vest, will be, like India’s delegation, relegated to the snowbank of history.
Amy Romkey – Dubai, UAE (PST+12)
Olympics? There are Olympics?!?! I heard a rumour there was some big event going on in Canada! The television programming over here is pretty abysmal. You can see bits and pieces of Olympic coverage on the odd European channel or CNN but there isn’t any coverage on local stations or news. Ditto for coverage in the local newspapers. My husband and I have a new neighbour who moved here from Vancouver, just in time to miss the Olympics. He is dedicated and wakes up at 4:30am to watch Canada play hockey. We have yet to accept one of his invitations to join. It’s just not the same watching on a little laptop. And since no one over here is really talking about the Olympics, you don’t really miss it.
Marten Lodewijks – Johannesburg, South Africa (PST+10)
Africa and snow are not usually two words one would put down in the same sentence (Mount Kilimanjaro aside). I think for this reason the Winter Olympics are viewed as more of an interesting thing happening half a world away than an actual competition that we might conceivably compete in. Having said all that I love watching the games. Sadly they are not broadcast live but rather in highlights packages in the evenings but I do enjoy the Giant Slalom and Super G (as much for the spectacular crashes as the skill involved) as well as the figure skating and luge. I must be honest and say that as much skill as it might require, curling is as interesting as watching a snail cross the living room. Just don’t get it…
As for Vancouver’s organizational problems, we have a pretty big tournament of our own coming up. Anyone who thinks the World Cup in SA will be as punctual as in Germany or as well organized as in Korea/Japan is smoking their socks. There will be delays, there will be blackouts, there will be parking nightmares but this is Africa and there will also be a magic and a passion that you cannot replicate in the northern hemisphere. Unlike Canada’s hockey team, South Africa has the advantage of very low expectations and I think the world will be pleasantly surprised.
David Lizoain – Barcelona, Spain (PST+9)
Barcelona has come down with Winter Olympic fever in the worst way, celebrating the games by announcing its own proposal to submit a Barcelona-Pyrenees bid for the 2022 games. This came as a surprise to everyone, especially the already existing Spanish bid next door in Aragon. Everyone agrees that the 1992 Summer Olympics here were a huge success. Tomorrow’s weather is forecast for a high of 18C. On the other hand, if you ship some snow to the mountains, build an unnecessary bobsleigh course, and a couple of ice palaces in the city, what more do you need?
Up until now, Spain’s most glorious Winter Olympic moment was in 2002 when Johann Mühlegg won a couple of couple of cross-country golds and then got busted for doping at the third race. Up until his fall from grace everyone was calling him Juanito and the King called to congratulate him. Now he’s back to being Johann. He’s like a Spanish version of Ben Johnson.
I remain convinced that the only useful thing about the Winter Olympics is that they are a great excuse to stage a World Cup of hockey. I have no time for all the variations on who can vertically drop the fastest with a few turns thrown in. Galileo already proved that, Who cares, it’s all the same.
Respect to the biathletes for their proud defense of doing two sports at once.
Paul Isaacs – London, UK (PST+8)
The British reaction to the Olympics has been understated to the point of seemingly not caring at all. Sometimes, stiff upper lips are just a politer way of saying we don’t give a fuck. The fact that we’ve only won a single gold medal (putting us behind such comedy punchline counties as Belarus and Slovenia) of course has nothing to do with it. Actually, we’re so worried about screwing up our own Olympics in 2012, your Vancouver catastrophes look like small beer. And besides, at least your Olympic logo doesn’t look like an obscene Simpsons gif.
Alex Frastacky – Quito, Ecuador (PST+3)
I watched the Canada/Russia hockey game last night at a bar with some Ecuadorian friends. There weren’t that many bars showing the game – in fact, this particular bar wasn’t showing the game either, until we came in and turned it on ourselves. Without DirectTV, you don’t get the Olympics in Ecuador.
Ecuador doesn’t have any athletes in the games. They like to watch it on TV, though, and cheer for random countries like Germany and Sweden. Canada, too – my friend Sebas thinks Whistler looks amazing. Last night I tried to explain (poorly) the rules of hockey. It wasn’t really working so I told them to just think of it as soccer on ice. That seemed to work. Between periods we flipped over to a soccer match, rather than watching any other Olympic Sports.
Matt Lynch – Chicago, USA (PST+2)
It’s hard not to be a tiny bit bitter after Chicago’s 2016 Summer Games bid flopped, so I can’t say I haven’t taken some cruel enjoyment in Vancouver’s struggles at things like “lighting the Olympic flame” and “having ice and snow.” I’m not one to plan my schedule around speed skating or biathalon or anything, but it’s been nice to see the American team perform well thus far. Still, a strong Olympic performance tends to give me mixed feelings because, while I want my country to do well just like anyone else, I feel like it only increases the already robust worldwide resentment of Team America.
Take “USA 5, Canada 3,” for instance. I realize it was a preliminary game, and that the Americans were significantly outplayed everywhere except between the pipes, but damn, that was fun. I could see Canada exacting its revenge later in the tournament in a cruel, cruel way, but who knows? One thing I do know is that the “Own The Podium” strategy has kind of gone bust.
If USA Hockey were to somehow win gold, I’d at least get some revenge for all the snide, “when we win, it’s not a miracle” ribbing we’ve taken on behalf of our beloved 1980 squad from certain Canadians, some of whom may or may not write this blog. If that happens, I’ll probably also wait a few months before I risk partaking of any imported Labatt Blue or Molson.
Margie “Auntie Travelin’ Marge” Matiets – Vancouver, Canada (PST)
Vancouver is like a two-week solar flare. The energy here is amazing – the people who are here for the Olympics are so passionate! Smiles everywhere. It feels very united, very universal. So much pride, such a feeling of privilege to be hosting these people. We’re givin’ er! Gotta get that hockey gold! The whole city is teeming with people. I’ve never seen it like this before, such long lines for everything. Not enough porta-potties.
Vancouver is surreal right now. It’s nice.
(Image courtesy Eric Lon)
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