Dear Mike,

It hasn't even been a full year. May 26^th, 2008 – a day I will forever remember. I never thought this would actually happen. I never knew it was possible to feel and experience so much at 24 years old. --This is the first Valentine's day I've ever written a letter knowing it will never be read or held by you. The first Valentines day I know I won't be reading anything from you, either. I love you Mike. I miss you so much. I hope you are resting in peace.

Not a day goes by I don't think about you and get overwhelmed by the reality of how much I love you, still. How much I wish I took the time to tell you every true feeling I had. How I wish I could take back the silly fights, erase all of my bad moods. I wish when I see a couple fighting or hear those words of insecurity I could turn to you and say – I love you. I wish it were you standing next to me instead of the wind... The butterflies that began the day we met are no longer butterflies. They are something so much bigger.

I wish everyone who is angry with their spouse or boyfriend or even brother or sister REALLY knew what it was like to live without them. I wish every time we fought I knew how I would be feeling now and instead I wish I cherished our time together. You did so many amazing things and you were always so caring. You put your country before your own flesh. It's overbearing to look back at how dedicated and amazing of a soldier you were; 3 tours in a horrible war in Iraq, being stationed in South Korea for 2 years, never having a real home for the past 8 years.

The countdowns when you were away seemed to never end. 100 days turning to 120. 120 to 200... I thought Id never have to live without you for longer than this. It's been 256 days so far, a number that will never get smaller.

Mike, You taught me to see the world differently. You drove me across the nation to show me the west. You brought me across the world to teach me culture. You took my hand and promised me forever... I love you. I wear our wedding band everyday. God, I miss you.

We want to scream, we want to cry, we all know you are here. I know you are still in my life right now. I have your family. I have your mom, dad, brother, and I thank God and you every day, I have your sister. Living with her has made this better. We can't fix it. You must know how much we miss you, we love you so much. Our biggest fear that could have ever happened- happened. You were taken from us. You did everything you could here, God has other plans for you.

I hope you can hear this. I hope you know how amazing of a man you were and how intense the love we have for you is.

Happy Valentine's Day, Hollywood – I love you. I miss you.

Forever,
Your Jenny and Bean